It’s little consolation, knowing you’ve been outsmarted by one of the most brilliant minds on the planet.
How did he figure it out? How did he suss it? One day, we were little more than a theory, and then, we were blown. Out in the open. Exposed. Outed by a superior intellect.
For years, guys like Alex Jones intimated it. We tried to discredit him. Yes, it was a tiresome effort – a finger in the dyke of truth. But the truth gathered mass, built pressure. Slowly, the leaks started to overwhelm us. FOX started talking about us. Hannity. Limbaugh. And then, in a tweet, the magnificent dealmaker pegged us dead to rights: a justice department investigation into overstepping by the corrupt and unlawful Mueller investigation! Damn! We knew it would just be a matter of time. The Deep State would be revealed.
I sit here now, waiting. The other shoe has dropped. Soon, they will storm the underground bunker. Headquarters will be overrun. The pizza parlor will be shut down. Guys like me – we’re expendable, but I can’t abide our superior officers – Hillary, Barack, Vince Foster (you knew his death was faked – damn!) spending the rest of their lives in jail. It was just a matter of time before the Great One found the bug Barack planted in his Propecia bottle. And those damn Whitewater prosecutors just wouldn’t give up!
We’ll be no match for the thousands of gun-wielding militia volunteers, hearty stock from the heartland of our country, that are soon to flood through the secret network of tunnels under Bethesda, MD. Since we’re all liberals, we don’t believe in owning firearms. So, we’re toast.
Soon, the country will be delivered. Our efforts to distract and disrupt the Great One from his mission of planetary peace and prosperity will be thwarted. How could we have thought we could prevail? Perhaps our motives were corrupt, I admit. We wanted Dear Leader to abandon the things he loved, things that made this country great again: his golf game, his magnificent trade deals, Mar-a-Lago, his tanning bed, but alas.
Someday, perhaps, the Deep State will rise again. This is Agent 617, signing off, forever.